HOLLYWOOD — A tourist was mauled and eaten by an out-of-control animatronic tyrannasaurus rex on Universal Studios' Jurassic Park ride.

Dedek Meate, of the Czech Republic, was tossed into the mouth of the giant dinosaur when the raft he was riding in suddenly lurched forward.  Meate was sitting in the front row.

"We knew something was wrong," says fellow rider Lake Shriner, "when the poor guy was bitten in half... but then we fell down that 84-foot drop, so we didn't see much else."

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"We knew something was wrong when the poor guy was bitten in half."
— Lake Shriner, eyewitness

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The cause of the accident was not immediately clear.  One crewmember who extracted Meate's upper torso from the mouth of the t-rex said it was "probably just an electrical short or a dead rat jambed the filtration system."

This was small comfort to the riders who came after Meate's raft and were forced to witness the menacing t-rex chomping on Meate's remains as the creature's massive head swung from side to side.  

"It was so coooool!," says teenager Moot Jellings, "I told my dad: 'Let's go again!'  Then they told us what happened.  Still, it was awesome." 

The theme park's communications departmment issued a terse statement regarding the accident: "As with the movie, Jurassic Park, sometimes things go dramatically wrong.  We assume our visitors understand the risks and that they won't hold it against us."

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Note: This article is satirical.  For more California news satire, visit: www.lalatimes.com.