EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Sanitation officials acknowledged a power failure at a pump station led to the release at a major emotional garbage outlet terminating in Santa Monica Bay. 

“Oh yeah, bile can split a pipe,” says L.A. City engineer Hank Schmidt, “green, yellow, brown, black — color doesn’t matter.  It’s nasty, explosive stuff.  And of course any baggage can really stop up these old pipes.  I’ve been warning the city for years.”

As the black sludge spread up and down the coast, it began to coagulate and reshape into the face of O.J. Simpson.

O.J. Simpson was unavailable for comment, though the Reverend Al Sharpton cried racism and claimed the sludgy slick looked more like Phil Spector.

Regardless, onlookers who witnessed the spectacle from atop coastal bluffs as far north as San Francisco were quick to blame the infinite iniquities of Southern California.

“With Hollywood box office attendance at new lows,” says Big Sur town crier, Purpul Haze, “that’ll create a lot of bad juju from the entertainment industry alone.  Add to that L.A.’s general karmic turmoil and the need to vent stress from the holiday season, and it’s a recipe for disaster.”