A swanky, new jail facility will house the most hardened white collar criminals — just off Zuma Beach in Malibu. Cells with a view... for you know who.
MALIBU – Under President Bush's get-tough legislation, corrupt CEOs and other white-collar criminals from Wall Street are headed for hard times at the new Federal Correctional Facility at Zuma Beach.
The new prison is being built in a hurry to accommodate the sudden rise in white-collar criminals expected from Wall Street in the coming months, as companies continue to announce verdicts stemming from high-profile court cases.
"The searing heat, desolate conditions and the need for serious sunblock were specifically chosen to send a message to the American people that we're dead serious about cracking down on these white-collar criminals. It's a real no-no." —
President Bush
Just a few of the first prisoners expected to serve terms at Zuma Beach are: Kenneth Lay and Michael Kopper, of Enron; Tyco’s Ex-CEO, Dennis Kozlowski; WorldCom’s Ex-CEO, Bernard Ebbers; ImClone’s Sam Waksal; John Rigas and sons, founders and management of Adelphia. Also expected, but not yet RSVP’d, are representatives from Global Crossing, AOL/Time Warner and a slew of Andresen accounting personnel.
"Lifers," such as Michael Milken and Ivan Boesky will take up residence at the facility’s maximum security wing, where they will be expected to give lectures and motivational speeches for the inmates.
HARD TIMES: An artist's sketch of the proposed Malibu Correctional Facilities at Zuma Beach, specializing in white-collar crime. It’s anticipated that Martha Stewart will serve time by providing occupational therapy group sessions.
Still, according to Bush, the "searing heat and desolate conditions" were specifically chosen to "send a message to the American people that we're dead serious about cracking down on these white-collar criminals. It's a real no-no. Sunscreen or not – we’re slapping their wrists until they’re good and red."
But critics are questioning the placement and accommodations of the new facility, which is said to be built upon the model of Muscle Beach in Venice. It would have a partitioned Nautilus gym with transparent boundaries that would intentionally blur the line in the sand between inmates and passers-by.
"Sure, there will be weight-lifting and all that, but that's nothing new," says prison warden, Biff Post, Jr. "The guys gotta have something to do. I don't see why anyone should be raising eyebrows. It’s definitely a separate space. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure."
But a list of inventories, received from sources inside the justice department, show orders for hot tubs, a wet bar, a top-of-the-line home entertainment system and even requisitions for topless dancers to entertain the inmates. Prison officials would not return phone calls regarding these supposed inventories.
There is also speculation that the correctional facility is nothing more than convenient and cost-effective lodging while many of the CEO’s legally protected mansions are undergoing renovation projects.
Though prison terms could be as long as twenty years, with good behavior most of the prisoners could be eligible for payroll as early as six months.
Law & Business
