SANTA MONICA, Calif. — According to Baby U Gym's founder, the hippest new gym craze is allegedly one-third body fitness, one-third mind wellness and one-third fitness of the soul. 

"That's right," says founder and fitness guru, Gene Barron, "Our coaches will pamper the crap out of you — whatever you want, their sole job is to coddle you and return you to that special place of comfort that we've all long since repressed."

---

"Will they really change your diaper?"
— BabyU Gym website FAQ

---

A beefy, 350 lb. weighlifter named Kharl is one of the "personal caretakers" who will swaddle you, carry you around, feed you, nap you, tuck you in, change you, bathe you — even scold you (if that's your thing).  Women bodybuilders are also employed at the gym, and members are given a profile sheet of potential caretakers from which to choose.

"I just can say enough about it," raves member June Bugguerte, dressed in an adult-sized onesie and sucking on a baby bottle full of Frappuchino, "I feel about thirty years younger — really!  After a busy, high-powered day at the office, I come here to let go of all that and truly relax.  I'm at peace here." 

Bugguerte has signed up for a group yoga class where the participants focus on poses that, as she claims, "brings out the infant in each of us."  The Happy Baby, Downward Facing Doggie, Upward Facting Kitty, Flying Child and Poopy Caca are just some of the more familiar poses.

Group spinning classes are also offered, but they're on specially customized tricycles and Big Wheels. 

And as part of a corporate wellness component, you can regress along with members of your company or department.  Check with the gym for reduced rates.

Both caretakers and members alike often speak of the bond that often develops between them. 

"I work with a man right now who insists on acting out," says Kharl, "he's got some issues: He wants me to slap him around.  Sometimes I'll spank him, but I usually just put him in our Time Out room, that has very large cribs where members can have tantrums to their heart's content.  But there's a transference that occurs with him that's magical, where I see that he's just working through a past grievance with his mom or dad.  The roving therapists have helped guide us both through the process."

That's right: Roving therapists, dressed as Sesame Street characters, shuffle from couple to couple, ensuring proper professional care for anyone who wants it.

"Will they really change your diaper?" is one of the FAQs on the BabyUGym.com website.

Kharl winks and proudly exclaims, "It was tough at first, sure, but it's not kinky.  We take it very seriously.  Even adults can get diaper rashes — and if that happens we catch hell the next day from their lawyers!"