Lancaster, Calif. – Take your time, honey!  There are probably few things in life more painful for men than going shopping with their wives.  But one department store has figured out a way to make shopping more enjoyable, thereby keeping wives in the mall longer, thereby wringing more money out of them. 

The answer: Provide a room where men can enjoy lap dancing. 

Overwhelmingly, in a test questionnaire, men responded positively to the scenario: Would you come to the mall more frequently if you could spend a few hours trying on strippers while your wife was trying on dresses?  

Dorman’s department store contracted a local strip club to provide service within their flagship store three months ago and the store has never been busier.  The place is affectionately entitled The Dressing Room. 

“My wife dragged me to Dorman’s a couple of weeks ago because she felt we needed some new furniture,” said Bill Parnell.  “I heard some music and guys hooting and went to investigate and I couldn’t believe my eyes.  Now I want to go shopping every weekend!” 

Bill Dorman IV, the store manager, came up with the idea after attending a bachelor party and observing how happy men get when they are surrounded by strippers.  “I figured that the negative attitude of the guys was hurting sales.  It’s a real win-win-win-win situation now,” said Dorman.  The store wins, the men win, the women win, and the other women — the strippers — win. 

But are the wives bothered by the club?  “Are you kidding,” said one housewife.  “My husband not only lets me buy what I want now, but when we got home from shopping the other night he stuffed a five in my underwear!"