Los Angeles Stakes Claim to Martian Water
The City of Los Angeles and NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab inked a deal in which Southern Californians would gain access to any water resources discovered on Mars.
by George Wolfe
PASADENA, Ca. — Senior management at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory acknowledged today the signing of a joint agreement with the city of Los Angeles which "stakes a claim to any and all water found by NASA's Spirit and Opportunity rovers."
City officials acknowledged that the freshly inked deal represented an ongoing effort to secure long-term sources of water for the ever-growing metropolitan population of Southern California. Los Angeles already gets water from as far away as the Colorado River, but this new pact would be unprecedented in its scope.
"We firmly believe that Mars offers enormous potential for potable water and we want to be on the cutting edge of water acquisition."
— Harold Feinstein,
Water District Commissioner
Officials would not specify how they would extract and deliver the water back to California, but anonymous scientific sources hinted that "enormous plastic baggies attached to unmanned rockets" would haul the water back through space and drop it in Santa Monica Bay, where it would be retrieved by tug boats.
THE RED PLANET: This photo, taken by NASA's Spirit rover, shows a Martian landscape with evidence of water deposits.
"Exactly how it happens is on a need-to-know basis for now," says regional water district commissioner, Harold Feinstein. "We're ironing out the details. The important thing is that the region is thinking proactively and progressively — that is, `out of the box' relative to competing water agencies in other states and countries. We firmly believe that Mars offers enormous potential for potable water and we want to be on the cutting edge of water acquisition."
Private companies are also jumping on board. Water drink manufacturer Perrier has declared its interest in the Martian water market. Perrier representative, Jacque Denefle, remarked that, "Yes, it is true. We have a wonderful new product that we're very excited about. We are calling it `Martian Springs.'"
LIFE ON MARS?: Scientists believe that these Martian gullies suggest a history of water on Mars.
But Pepsi Co. isn't far behind. It's in beta-testing of an artificially colored soda made with Martian water. The company is billing the new beverage simply as The Big Red Drink.
Never one to be outdone, the city of Los Angeles plans to inaugurate its new deal with NASA at a ribbon-cutting ceremony held at the Earth's first swimming pool filled entirely with Martian water.
Science & Technology
