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Sports

ASPCA to Sue Giants' Fans Over Treatment of Rally Monkey
Monkey abuse is big business for San Francisco Giants fans. The ASPCA says the behavior sends the wrong message to animals everywhere.
ANAHEIM — San Francisco Giants' fans may have just been monkeying around during the World Series, but the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals doesn't think it's a laughing matter. And they're ready to back it up in court.

HEAR NO EVIL: What?!

 The ASPCA announced a suit today, charging damages "to animals the world over, but particularly to monkeys."

SPEAK NO EVIL: Mmm!?

Spokeswoman, Belinda Bonobo, said that "We are deeply shocked that citizens of such a peaceable city as San Francisco would display such barbaric treatment toward an animal that's a kindred spirit to humanity.

The ugly images that the world was forced to witness — lynching, decapitation and disembowlment — cannot go unpunished. To do so is to say to the world, 'World, we haven't evolved at all. No, not one bit.'"

Asked what the organization hopes to accomplish with the suit, Bonobo replied, "We intend to sue the pants off Giants' fans and send them back to the caves they crawled out of!"

SEE NO EVIL: This type of mascot abuse is being clamped down upon by the ASPCA.

LALA